To a mouse...

I’m slowly learning that no matter how well I plan for a vacation I will not get to do all the things I want to do. I think a small part of this is that I want to do EVERYTHING. I know I can’t do it all, but I usually set out trying. This may have something do with the fact that we really didn’t go on vacation when I was growing up.

Honestly, I only really remember taking two vacations with my family. One was in High school and we went to London for three days. The other time we went to Charleston, S.C. to ring in 2000. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was a great vacation, but I really don’t remember any other time we traveled as a family to get away from where we were living. Often Friends and relatives would come and visit us in Japan; Italy; Florida; Washington, D.C., all those really fun duty stations. And even though we would sometimes travel to different cities when guest were visiting, I still think of those trips as us being tour guides, because more often than not we had already been to the sites in that town on school field trips.

Typically, Family Vacation was just a nice way of saying “we are moving this summer”. Just to catch the none brats up, this meant having one suit case between my sister and I for up to three months, traveling with a cat and a dog, not knowing when our household goods would arrive and possibly visiting a relative or two that we are not going to see for another 3-6 years. This is *not* a vacation, but it is what we got, and we made due (like reading in a hammock on the lawn at Grandma Panter’s in the middle of Tennessee or watching every two dollar movie at the base theater while being in temporary housing). Now some bases were definitely better than others. That fact did make some moves a bit easier, but these moves were the exception to the rule.

My little sister and I would also get to visit our Daddy during some summer breaks and a few holidays. This was more like what you may think of during a vacation. Yet we would cram so much in to these visits that I really needed a vacation from these vacations when I got home! In fact one trip was actually called our whirl wind weekend. I’ve even had a short story about that printed from a newspaper contest. I’ll have to dig that up for ya…

Regardless, all of these experiences have lead to my tendency to be a heavy planner. I have a need to fit it all in. I have a few friends trying their darnedest to break me of this habit. And it seems from my last trip across the pond even God is getting in on this re-programming.

I wanted to see everyone still living in Holland, enjoy the wedding, drop by and do a little intelligence gathering on a few city diplomacy initiatives, go shopping for things I can’t get in the States, meet my relatives, go to the Mauritshuis, go for a walk along the dunes, visit the archeological museum in Leiden, and read a book or two. Maybe, if it wasn’t too expensive and I still had time I would have gone to Krefeld for work. None of this really mattered. I only did a fraction of what I had planned to do, because by day four I was down a wallet and by day five I was stuck on the couch for half a week and crutches for the rest of my trip. (Oh and those readers who know where the title of this blog comes from get a gold star!)

Shock Me, Shock Me, Shock Me with Your Deviant Book Titles

I love to read. I’m addicted to buying books. So naturally I will pick up a new title for a flight. I’d much rather read than watch a movie while flying. I buy books relatively often so I have stacks of books lined up for me to read. When I fly I just pick one off the nearest pile. I never really put much thought in to it. Yet I recently noticed a pattern. I seem to pick out titles that are going to raise more than a few eyebrows.

A few years ago, I had picked up Emergency Sex and other Desperate Measures. It is about the UN and is a great read, but not as racy as the title lets on. I didn’t think any thing about the title until a few members of a Christian church tour group started to give me the evil eye and a few old ladies tisked at me while shaking their heads during a layover in DC.

More recently I had picked up God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. I actually bought it as a gift for a friend of mine and decided to read it on my way back to Holland after a short break at home. I had a surprising reaction for this book too. The most stereotypical looking red neck sat own in front of me on a flight. He had already done his fair share of hemming and hawing about the big city transplant types who just think they are so important and a little later said an off color remark to me after I bumped his chair while trying to put away my lap top. When I was returning to my seat after going to the restroom, He got up out of his chair and turned to me as I sat down. I was not really sure what he was going to say, but I definitely wasn’t ready for the conversation which followed. He wanted to know where I bought the book. He’d been trying to buy it for a while but it was not being sold at the stores he goes to in Alabama. I told him I got it at Target.

This last trip overseas I was reading Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. I didn’t get any odd looks for this one, but this may be because it is hard to see the couple making out on the microscope stage.

Transatlantic Travel

I’m quite used to long flights across the globe. I’ve flown DC to Frankfurt, Detroit to Tokyo, Miami to Santiago, just to name a few. Depending on which direction I’m flying and exactly how long the flight is going to be I prepare differently. Bring music, books, my laptop, whatever I may need to keep myself occupied incase the movie selection is poor.

Typically, I can sleep on the overnight flight from the Eastern US to Europe. Usually I miss the dinner meal and sometimes even the breakfast if they still serve food on flights (during the short leg from Charlotte to Newark one of the flight attendants on Continental actually asked me if I wanted “today’s meal”- as he held out a packet of mini pretzels). And for the record, I really hate being feed only once in the middle of a transatlantic flight. It is extremely useful to sleep on this flight. I’ve determined the only way to not suffer from jet lag going to Europe is to power through that first day. No nap, plenty of caffeine and lots of company. The goal is to stay awake at least until 9:30-10:00 pm. Often I stay up even later if my friends drag me out for a drink or two.

This time, nothing was as I planned. Tuesday flights are always packed, but this one just seemed to be more so. I had a window seat which is perfect for jamming oneself into a bit of a cubby hole with just a tad extra room for curling up. I’ve become quite adept at pushing my foot in to that cranny between the wall and seat in front of me and basically lodging myself into the chair so I sort of can fool myself into pretending (not quite believing) that I’m all curled up in my favorite arm chair at home. This just wasn’t going to happen this trip.

The gods were conspiring against me. To begin with the young woman next to me decided to read the entire time. The lights were not angled well so there was no way to shut out the light with out covering my head with a blanket, scarf, something. I hate having my face covered when I sleep, even just my eyes with one of those masks. It is because I usually toss and turn and move and then what ever it is gets wrapped around my neck and I can’t even wear turtle necks so it just doesn’t work out well. Then there was the issue that the guy in front of me has stuffed his coat in the crack I use for a foot rest. Even worse was that I couldn’t keep a constant temperature. The plane was too cold, the blanket wasn’t warm enough, and adding my coat made me too hot. Oh and there was this horrid buzz when I leaned on the window shade.

Needless to say I got absolutely NO sleep. I sat with my eyes closed for a bit, but never drifted off. So I read for 8 hours (a typically Alexis-Travel Title, of course, more on that in my next installment). This lack of sleep didn’t stop me from staying up the whole day after landing. In fact, I think we figured that since I got up early for work the day I flew over and was up until around midnight after my arrival the next day I was up for 30 some hours. Joy!

Travel Log...

So I'm really bad at keeping travel logs, but I did jot down a few notes from my last trip to the Netherlands and will be turning them in to blogs over the next few days stay tuned :-)

Only Because I Adore my FOX Friends

I was tagged by Dee's Avendentures

Silly Things About Me
Started today at 9:09pm

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:13am (forgot to set my alarm...)

2. How do you like your steak? Medium Rare on the Rare side

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? District 9

4. What is your favorite TV show? Mad Men

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I want to live in so many different places, but I'd like to end up in Charleston after another stint in Zuid Holland.

6. What did you have for breakfast? protein shake

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Thai

8. What foods do you dislike? mainly just liver

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Buddha's in Leiden

10. Favorite dressing? poppy seed

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? An Altima

12. What are your favorite clothes? jeans, tailored top and a pashmina scarf

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Well I have to visit two more continents Africa and Australia

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? 1/2 full, but even if it is 1/2 empty I'm sure I can find a bottle and fill it back up.

15. Where would you want to retire? Charleston, SC

16. Favorite time of day? early evening

17. Where were you born? Honolulu, HI

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Hockey

19. Bird watcher? yes. I love watching the birds in my yard.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night!

21. Do you have any pets? My Bean, the Boston Terrier

22. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? My Dad is up for a 3rd star!

23. What did you want to be when you were little? a purple unicorn

24. What is your best childhood memory? eating strawberries on papa's back porch

25. Are you a cat or dog person? Dog

26. Are you married? nope

27. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

28. Been in a car accident? Yes

29. Any pet peeves? stupid people.

30. Favorite Pizza Topping? meat

31. Favorite Flower? Oriental Lilies

32. Favorite ice cream? Pralines and Cream

33. Favorite fast food restaurant? TACO BELL

34. How many times did you fail your driver's test? never

35. From whom did you get your last email? That wasn't junk... Hans van der Vlugt a relative who lives near Rotterdam

36. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? none, I don't like maxing out my card! but if I didn't have to pay it back... then Anthropologie

37. Do anything spontaneous lately? nope

38. Like your job? I love what I do.

39. Broccoli? yum

40. What was your favorite vacation? Going to Italy with Erin ties with Fishing with Ben

41. Last person you went out to dinner with? Richard

42. What are you listening to right now? I can hear Bean snoring over Alana Daivs' cover of Third Eye Blind's "I Want You"

43. What is your favorite color? Blue

44. How many tattoos do you have? None

45. Coffee Drinker? sometimes

What time did you finish this quiz? 9:46


Now I am tagging:
http://shanaiinsouthafrica.blogspot.com/

Forget the Friendly Skies...

I grew up flying. I'd have to confirm it with my mother, but I am pretty sure that my first flight was taken under the age of two and my first unaccompanied flight was when I was 6 or 7 (and even that was transatlantic) I never minded being cooped up in a tin can flying through the atmosphere. I loved it. I loved everything about travel except packing. I loved the announcements for different flights, the international stewardesses in their classy outfits and watching giant jets being taxied out of the gates. I used to actually drive up to the international airport in Charlotte while I was in college in South Carolina in order to get a coffee and people watch. I loved traveling by air that much. It made me happy to just sit in the Airport and try and guess where people where going or if at that moment I had the money where would I buy a ticket to on flights leaving in the next few minutes. I didn’t mind longer layovers as long as it was an airport I liked.

This is no longer true. The wonders of air travel are slowing being sapped one by one by the airlines and security agencies. Gone are the days of picking up your friends at the gate or meeting a buddy for lunch at the airport during their long layover. Inch by inch leg room was stolen so they could fit in more seats and find a way to over book flights even more than before. It used to be that if you’d miss a typical meal time (say 11:30 to 1:30 for lunch) you’d be feed something. Granted it wasn’t always the best, but you would not go hungry. Now you are lucky if they don’t make you pay for the pretzels (and I honestly miss the honey roasted peanuts).

You used to have service with a smile and slender well dressed attendants. Now you have over worked flight crews who aren’t always friendly and often bump into you with their plumper regions (this is less true of non-US carriers, but we have to be PC and can’t hire flight attendants on looks anymore). You used to be able to bring two checked bags internationally for free and one free checked bag on domestic flights. Now that is gone and people are hitting you in the head with their overstuffed full sized suit case and calling it a carry on. I’ve now been on three flights where they ran out of room on the plan for carry-ons. It ticked me off because I made sure to measure mine to make sure it would fit in the over head bin and well, no one else did that. And of course they check mine and not the 65-pound-nearly-the-size-of-a-steamer-trunk-thing the man in 28c put over row 15. As much of a hassle it is in Europe, I rather hope they start weighing carry-ons in the US too.

What is worse I all of this just make the customers more angry and more likely to tick each other off. Like how a lady in row 15 had words with the dude from 28c. I just usually just loose sleep. I can’t relax because I’m not comfortable and now can’t clear my mind of the anger over paying 500+ for tickets following the rules and not getting my money’s worth. In all this just makes me more likely to be agitated. There was a time when 'd not care if they made me shuffle stuff from one bag to another to make one lighter. I'd even volunteer me seat if they over booked and I didn't have a connecting flight or an appointment to make on the other end. It feel bad for the baby crying because his ears won't pop. Now I'm pissed off at the mother for flying with a baby (I would have never agreed with my friend 5 years ago, but now her idea that you can only have one baby in the cabin per flight, just like dogs, is sounding more appealing).

To make matters worse, the last flight I had cancelled on me was from Chicago to Charlotte. I never choose to travel through Chicago. I hate both airports there. I, however, didn't buy the tickets my self and beggars can't be choosers. My flight got cancelled because they were only letting plans a certain size fly out that evening due to the weather. Because this was a weather related problem they wouldn't pay for your hotel. I didn't want to spend the night in the airport so I called to see if I could just change flights to some where else and then transfer there to get home. I had actually tried to preempt this when I originated out of Vegas, but since the connecting flight in Chicago hadn't been cancelled yet they wouldn't let me do it.

I got in the "costumer service" (this name applies as much as meal applies to pretzels) line and decided to call my father who had booked the original tickets and see if he can help with the changes. My Father called the customer service call center (they try to be more helpful, but aren't always either) from his phone, and I also did the same while standing in line. I was transferred to a woman in India. Being stranded in O'Hare is not the time to send a customer to someone in India. I'm tired from traveling, it is super loud in the concourse, many American and British English words for travel hold different meanings, and I lost my patience with my baggage during the connecting flight. I'm in no mood to try and communicate when she can't understand my slightly southern accent and I can't hear here over the baby crying next to me.

Well we give it a go anyway. There was lots of asking the other person to repeat herself on both sides. I think she thought I couldn't understand her accent. It really wasn't that, I am very much used to speaking with people with accents. I live in a city where there are innumerable variations on the southern accent mixed with international accents tinged with southern accents, or even more challenging a foreign accent mixed with a Boston accent with a hint of Tennessee twang. The truth of the matter was that I was exhaust and it was too noisy for me to even begin to understand her. Eventually, I found out there were no more flights to Charlotte that Friday. So I asked her when would the first flight tomorrow be. There were no flights tomorrow. In fact, the first possible flight would be on Monday night. There is no way in hell I am going to stay at an airport for an entire weekend. This was unacceptable. So I asked for a flight to DC. Well it turns out the airline was cancelling even the bigger flight after 8pm, and that was when the next flight to DC had been scheduled. Atlanta? the last flight be 8pm left 15 minutes ago. Tampa was also a no go. I asked her are there any flight going out of Chicago on your carrier or someone else's before the 8pm cut off that I can take and eventually end up at least a state that shares a border with the Carolinas? that took some explaining as I had to now list those states (granted I'm not even sure a call center in the US would have been able to figure that out with out the help of Google). Apparently, there was one, but it leaves in 10 minutes and is on the other side of the airport. Just as I was about to lose it my father beeped in on the other line. I put the Indian woman on hold (I've always want to to put a call center person on hold!) and my father said, "You've got 10 minutes, run to gate G21 your flying to Raleigh." I hung up on my line to Mumbai and booked it. One guy further behind me in line and one guy in front of me also did the same thing.

It was just like you've seen in the movies. I wish I wasn't wearing heels, but I didn't have time to even try and run barefoot, thought idea did cross my mind. I ran shouting down the people mover that "the f'ing sign says stand to the right you dolt!" I only stopped ran in to the check in counter at the gate when the attendant standing there screamed that I can't just run onto a plane. She wanted my boarding pass. I said can you look me up with my Charlotte pass? I need to make this flight and it was booked maybe 12 minutes ago so please please please let me be in the system. She was hemming and hawing, but she looked me up and let me on board as I started down the jet way I yelled back, oh don't close that screen there is another guy who is about 2 minutes behind me, and sue enough I heard her yell at him too as I stepped on to the plane. I've never in my life been that happy about going to Raleigh (this is more meaningful if you understand the dynamics between Charlotte and Raleigh).

Oh and it took two days to get my bag out of Chicago.