Howdy

Oh introductions... Yes, yes, they seem so ordinary and are very useful. Yet, for a certain portion of the population, they are anything but simple. Assuming I'm one in a million, at least 6000 people out there also dread the question "So, where are you from?" as much as I do. In fact, I'd almost rather hear "Ya ain't from around here, huh?" That one is at least easy to answer, nope I ain't.

It is difficult and nearly impossible to pin down ones origin when growing up on the move. I can't say that I identify with the city I was born in. I wish I could. The looks of envy I get when I say I was born in Honolulu really makes me wish I remembered more than splashing in the kiddy pool in the backyard. For a while I used to identify with the place I lived the longest in one stretch, around four years in Northern Virginia, but re-enacting adventures from the Goonies on the "lake" behind our house, really doesn't explain a whole lot about who I am today (maybe just my obsession with pirates and strengthened ties to Cannon Beach). I can just forget saying I'm from my new residential local. No one ever believes me if I say I'm from Charlotte. Not even when I'm not in Charlotte and talking to people who could tell you which state the city is in.

So at dinner parties, mixers and other gatherings where small talk is required I dread being asked this question. Part of the problem is that if I do admit that I'm from all over the place people want to know where exactly and then I have a choice to make. Do I give the cryptic "Oh I'm form all over or no where in particular" to do I rattle off a litany of cities in several sates and a handful of nations. Typically the more cryptic answer leads to the listing of places I've lived. very few people are content with the everywhere answer. Depending on who is present at the time, my list of homes evokes one of three typical reactions 9there are other reactions, but these are the most common). First, there is the overwhelmed look. This person stares blankly as if I was reading from some document with a subsection d, clause 2, paragraph 16. I think they are worried I'm going to quiz them later. I can just imagine it now, "Okay, you have 15 seconds to tell me where I was on December 17, 1987, find it on the map and you get extra credit if you can tell me what the number one industry there is- go!" The fact is I can't even tell you where I was in 1987 right off the top of my head.

The second type of person is the one that, if they are polite, are trying not to roll their eyes as they think, gee look at little miss show off, thinks she's so special just because she's been on a transatlantic flight. This one bothers me the most. I could understand this look if I was bragging about graduating in what used to be the court theater of the Kingdom of Two Sicilies. But this has never come up in regular conversation. typically I just say I've live all over the US and a few places overseas. If asked I say what countries and cities, but some people get all defensive-like after I say overseas.

The third is the person that wants to grill me on every town I've ever been to. I'm glad that they are interested, but sometimes I'd just like to enjoy my 2 dollar Martini (with Gin... I swear if I have ask specifically for Gin again I'm going to scream! Where do these bartenders come from!?) and hear about what someone else thinks about the election protests in Iran or why they like Ocracoke better than Bodie.

Every once in a while I run in to someone who takes it all in stride and says that's cool and we move on to what do you do for a living. However I like the atypical reactions best. The "Did you stomp on the nuts of the bull at the Galleria?" and the "Isn't it crazy that sprinkles on toast is considered an acceptable choice for a grown man's breakfast there?" folks are so much more fun to run into. It usually means that when I ask them where they are from they will come back with APO AE or DC by way of Nambia and with a slight detour in Aruba. Then I feel I've found a kindred spirit. Now we can talk about our favorite places to find shawarma and how crazy it is to see those three wheeled trucks out on the Autostrada.

've been debating saying I'm from the South. I was born in the southern most state in the Union. I've lived in various southeastern states. And even when I lived overseas I lived in the southern regions of those nations. Yet for some reason I don't think answer is going to get me off the hook, especially not in these parts. Awe well, c'est la vie.